You Are Who You Are, Not What You Do

Posted by JD on June 27, 2006

Becoming Your Wrong Decisions

Our perception of the traits and characteristics that make us who we are is often tightly intertwined with how we live our life. We define ourselves in terms of the roles we adopt, our actions and inactions, our triumphs, and what we think are failures. As a result it is easy to identify so strongly with a decision that has resulted in unexpected negative consequences that we actually become that “wrong” decision. The disappointment and shame we feel when we make what we perceive as a mistake grows until it becomes a dominant part of our identities. We rationalize our “poor” decisions by labeling ourselves incompetent decision-makers. However, your true identity cannot be defined by your choices. Your essence-what makes you a unique entity-exists independently of your decision-making process.

There are no true right or wrong decisions. All decisions contribute to your development and are an integral part of your evolving existence yet they are still separate from the self. A decision that does not result in its intended outcome is in no way an illustration of character. Still, it can have dire effects on our ability to trust ourselves and our self-esteem. You can avoid becoming your decisions by affirming that a “bad decision” was just an experience, and next time you can choose differently. Try to avoid lingering in the past and mulling over the circumstances that led to your perceived error in judgment. Instead, adapt to the new circumstances you must face by considering how you can use your intelligence, inner strength, and intuition to aid you in moving forward more mindfully. Try not to entirely avoid thinking about the choices you have made, but reflect on the consequences of your decision from a rational rather than an emotional standpoint. Strive to under! stand why you made the choice you did, forgive yourself, and then move forward.

A perceived mistake becomes a valuable learning experience and is, in essence, a gift to learn and grow from. You are not a bad person and you are not your decisions; you are simply human.

DailyOM

Thoughts

Posted by JD on June 9, 2006

Daily Wisdom from CoffeyTalk.com

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” -Marcus Antonius (A.D. 86-161)

Our thoughts are one of the most powerful tools we have at our disposal. They are used to decide everything we do. From what to eat for dinner to how we converse with a dear friend.

If our thoughts are the first step towards creating a delicious meal then they are also the first step towards resolving a conflict, right?

Becoming more aware of what we are thinking and observing those thoughts allows us to determine the best path to take in any given situation. We can choose to be in a reactive state and let that little voice in our heads determine our direction or we can take an active role and work towards the higher good for all concerned.

We’ve been given a great tool with our thoughts. They create some of the most wonderful and beautiful pieces of artwork, but unobserved they can do the opposite. Choose to be concious. Choose to come from a place of peace and love for the world and the people around you. -Lissa Coffey